Go Army! Beat Navy!
Navy calls it the "yard" so they can still have recess. #BeatNavy
Navy buys cereal based on the toy in the box. #GoArmy
Navy 'gave up the ship' in the Civil War when they retreated from the Naval Academy to Rhode Island on the USS Constitution. #BeatNavy
Navy gets excited for the big 64 count box of crayons. #GoArmy
Navy has trouble going to sleep without an exchange cadet checking under their bed for monsters. #BeatNavy
Navy has less sea time than princess characters on a Disney Cruise ship. #GoArmy
Navy studies Girl Scout cookie sales for leadership lessons. #BeatNavy
Navy has to sit down to pee. #GoArmy
Navy borrows your car and brings it back with an empty tank. #BeatNavy
Navy is a fallback school for community college. #GoArmy
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Navy thought a quarterback was a refund. #BeatNavy
Navy cries each time Goose dies in Top Gun. #GoArmy
Navy puts the tip in the tip jar ... to see how it feels. #BeatNavy
Navy is why we'll have mandatory, annual "no sky penis" training from now on. #GoArmy
Navy squeals like a girl when Twilight is on. #BeatNavy
Navy is why U2 hasn't found what they're looking for. #GoArmy
Two NAVY football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Naval Academy. Soon after the test began, the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, “Old MacDonald had a what?”
The other replies, “He had a farm.”
The first asks, “How do you spell it?”
To which the second replied, “E-I-E-I-O.”
#BeatNavy
Navy kids are ashamed their parent(s) went to USNA. #GoArmy
Navy looks up to CAPT Jack Sparrow for inspiration. #BeatNavy
Navy turned tricks to put themselves through USNA ... still doesn't realize it was tuition free. #GoArmy
Navy invented SEALs because they know if nobody actually puts boots on the ground they're just hiding far away on a boat. #BeatNavy
Navy has big ships because they're compensating. #GoArmy
Navy still can't color between the lines. #BeatNavy
Navy plays with green Army men to feel more "tactical." #GoArmy
Navy loads all the chambers in Russian roulette and begs to go first. #BeatNavy
Navy requests combat ribbons for watching war movies. #GoArmy
Navy giggles at "sextant" and "seamen." #BeatNavy
Navy is positive it's "not gay when you're underway." #GoArmy
Navy doesn't know what happened to the bread when toast pops up. #BeatNavy
Navy tells little kids there is no Santa Clause. #GoArmy
Navy thinks Top Gun was a documentary. #BeatNavy
Navy always "replies to all" when emailing. #GoArmy
Navy asks their girlfriends to parallel park for them. #BeatNavy
Navy drives slow in the fast lane. #GoArmy
Navy relies on SEALs to get women. #BeatNavy
Navy gets a sippy cup at restaurants. #GoArmy
Navy only uses spoons because forks and knives are for big kids. #BeatNavy
Navy evacuates ahead of women and children. #GoArmy
Navy roots for Voldemort. #BeatNavy
Navy reads coloring books "for the articles." #GoArmy
Navy still gets the crusts cut off their sandwiches. #BeatNavy
Navy sings "It's Raining Men" in the shower. #GoArmy
Navy gets mad at the midshipman in the mirror that won't stop copying. #BeatNavy
Navy watches paint dry. #GoArmy
Navy fixes their ships with reiki healing. #BeatNavy
Navy kids pretend to be Army soldiers. #GoArmy
Navy waxes romantically about The Little Mermaid. #BeatNavy
Navy steals ketchup and mustard packets from restaurants for home. #GoArmy
Navy gets an automatic 20% VA disability for their incurable, USNA inferiority complex. #BeatNavy
Navy considers resort cruises as "deployment sea time". #GoArmy
Navy can't attend Airborne School because you have to count to four. #BeatNavy
Navy still updates their MySpace page. #GoArmy
Navy only does CrossFit on the rest days. #BeatNavy
Navy is addicted to placebos. #GoArmy
Navy pays extra for gluten-free, dolphin-safe, organic, zero-calorie water. #BeatNavy
Navy has a colorful nose from scratch 'n sniff markers. #GoArmy
Navy gets PTSD from Nerf. #BeatNavy
Navy leads the way on banning dangerous dihydrogen monoxide chemicals. #GoArmy
Navy supports banning women's suffrage because women shouldn't suffer. #BeatNavy
Navy squinches their nose and cutely says "Boop" when they collide ships. #GoArmy
Navy covers their eyes in combat to hide from the "Bad Guys." #BeatNavy
Navy checks if their guns are loaded by looking down the barrel. #GoArmy
Navy takes a knee during the National Anthem. #BeatNavy
Navy uses a money clip to hold their coins. #GoArmy
Navy always chooses the easier wrong. #BeatNavy
Navy takes phone calls in public bathroom stalls. #GoArmy
Navy stands next to you at the urinal. #BeatNavy
Navy speeds in school zones. #GoArmy
Navy will never be the man their mom was.#BeatNavy
Navy joined the fight against autism, by fighting autistic children. #GoArmy
Navy pulls through and blocks the intersection at red lights. #BeatNavy
Navy freezes boiling water to save it for later. #GoArmy
Navy tells "Yo Mama" jokes about their own mom. #BeatNavy
Navy’s going to give you up. Navy’s going to let you down. Navy’s going to run aground & desert you. #GoArmy
Navy doesn't understand how 2017 is in the 21st century. #BeatNavy
Navy hooks up solar panels in their basement and turns on their incandescent lights. #GoArmy
Navy doesn't recycle. #BeatNavy
Navy supports Global Warming for bigger oceans. #GoArmy
Navy isn't sure its her baby when she's pregnant. #BeatNavy
Navy refuses to release their tax returns. #GoArmy
Archived at - https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2015/11/04/west-point-grad-pranks-annapolis-with-go-army-day/ |
Navy double dips their chips. #BeatNavy
Navy is jealous of ISIS for their goats. #GoArmy
I thought of Navy today. Then I remembered to take out the garbage. #BeatNavy
Navy doesn't wash their hands. #GoArmy
Navy is a close-talker with bad breath. #BeatNavy
Navy makes their date pay. #GoArmy
Navy uses the HOV lane with "inflatable" passengers. #BeatNavy
Navy likes to name-drop their famous alumni ... but nobody knows who they are. #GoArmy
Navy hangs to the left. #BeatNavy
Navy craps in the only working shower on the FOB. #GoArmy
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Navy retreats from a snowball fight with 3 year olds. #BeatNavy
Navy has "itchy burning discharge" recorded on their DD-214. #GoArmy
Navy prefers Internet Explorer. #BeatNavy
Navy gets a passing PRT score for showing up and having a pulse. #GoArmy
Navy wants to show you their *junk* because there is something that really itches down there and they can't figure it out .... #BeatNavy
Navy still uses training wheels. #GoArmy
Navy is the reason for a Zima relaunch. #BeatNavy
Navy tells you the end of a movie before you can watch it. #GoArmy
Navy thought books were based on movies. #BeatNavy
Navy's favorite book is by Dr. Seuss - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. #GoArmy
Navy orders vegan at a steakhouse. #BeatNavy
Navy peeps in the shower. #GoArmy
Navy eats soup with a fork. #BeatNavy
Navy is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle. #GoArmy
Navy thinks Puerto Rico is part of Cuba. #BeatNavy
Archived at https://www.militarytimes.com/off-duty/military-culture/2019/09/03/this-branch-takes-the-cake-as-the-us-militarys-fattest/" |
Navy tried to paint their submarine yellow. #GoArmy
Navy dreams of upgrading to a double-wide trailer with a chain link fence. #BeatNavy
The villain from Black Panther went to the Naval Academy. #GoArmy
The villain from The Blacklist went to the Naval Academy. #BeatNavy
Navy drinks beer through a straw. #GoArmy
Navy is why we have to listen to the entire message because the menu options have changed. #BeatNavy
Navy orders fish at a steakhouse. #GoArmy
Navy flirts with Army wives ... because it's as close to tough as they'll ever be. #BeatNavy
Navy is jealous of the Air Force - so they maintain aircraft carriers so they can fly, too. #GoArmy
Navy is jealous of the Army - so they made SEALs so they can get ground action, too. #BeatNavy
Navy says size doesn't matter, it's the motion of the ocean. #GoArmy
Navy loses to children at Fortnite. #BeatNavy
Navy "understood" when Jason Biggs defiled the apple pie. #GoArmy
Navy secretly acts out the "King of the World" scene from Titanic with each other. #BeatNavy
Navy is like uber ... for the Marines. #GoArmy
Navy regifts back to you. #BeatNavy
Navy thinks dihydrogen monoxide is unhealthy. #GoArmy
Navy is the 5th best service academy only because Citadel and VMI were ineligible. #BeatNavy
Navy is proud the Mullet is a regulation hair style. #GoArmy
Navy receives "dick pics" from their Mom. #BeatNavy
Navy keeps a 5 gallon fuel can in their electric car in case they run out of juice. #GoArmy
Navy can't use a map without colored pencils. #BeatNavy
Navy accelerates towards kids to avoid stopping for the school bus. #GoArmy
Navy hands out vegetables at Halloween. #BeatNavy
Navy doesn't realize their diploma is a really the equivalent of a military Certificate of Appreciation for participation. #GoArmy
Navy never lets children win at musical chairs. #BeatNavy
Navy blocks gas pumps while they buy snacks in a gas station. #GoArmy
Navy joined CYBERCOM to have cyber sex. #BeatNavy
Navy trains with toy boats in the bath tub. #GoArmy
Navy is the DoD's leading insider threat. #BeatNavy
Navy wives fantasize their sailor was in the Army. #GoArmy
Navy clicks all the ad links in their email. #BeatNavy
Navy worries their car's headlight fluid is low. #GoArmy
Navy bowls with the gutter guards raised. #BeatNavy
Navy is picked last for the dodgeball team. #GoArmy
Navy haggles to raise the price. #BeatNavy
Navy uses "password" as their password. #GoArmy
Navy always forwards chain mail. #BeatNavy
Navy is the tattletale service of the DoD. #GoArmy
Navy deflates their balls. #BeatNavy
Navy runs a heroin and cocaine ring. (too soon?) #GoArmy
Navy can't go underway without a security blanket. #BeatNavy
Navy tries to rewind DVDs. #GoArmy
Navy types with only two fingers. #BeatNavy
Navy gets left out by their imaginary friends. #GoArmy
Navy sniffs their skidmarks to determine reusability. #BeatNavy
Navy thinks TCP/IP payloads with "1s" weigh more than "0s". #GoArmy
Navy officers need babysitters (JORG). #BeatNavy
Navy swallows gum and tries to blow fart bubbles. #GoArmy
Navy can't drive without repeating their GPS' navigation instructions. #BeatNavy
Navy can't help their children do common core math. #GoArmy
Navy shakes their head hoping quarters will fall out of their ears. #BeatNavy
Navy is impressed by DISA. #GoArmy
Navy turns the "v" and "y" into little hearts when they're writing. #BeatNavy
Navy has every Justin Bieber album. #GoArmy
Navy blames dolphins when they fart underwater. #BeatNavy
Navy brings their phone into a SCIF. #GoArmy
Navy needs a permission slip signed by an adult to go ashore. #BeatNavy
Navy moves furniture around on the blind. #GoArmy
Navy fake mouths words around the deaf. #BeatNavy
Navy parks in handicapped spaces. #GoArmy
Navy urinates in the group shower. #BeatNavy
Navy chopped up their money to make BitCoins. #GoArmy
Navy pushes hard to win gold medals in the Special Olympics. #BeatNavy
Navy sells your personal identifiable information to telemarketers. #GoArmy
Navy takes money from the donation jar. #BeatNavy
Navy steals toys from Toys-For-Tots. #GoArmy
Navy complains about homeless veterans. #BeatNavy
Navy relaxes weight limit standards when they get fat. #GoArmy
Navy goes by "gross tonnage" because their sailors are overweight. #BeatNavy
Navy keeps JAG busy cleaning up their scandals. #GoArmy
Navy participates in TV shows and movies to boost their low self esteem. #BeatNavy
Navy brags about USNA on their Tinder profile. #GoArmy
Navy cheats at solitaire. #BeatNavy
Navy needs "new math" so nobody would recognize they couldn't do "old math." #GoArmy
Navy frequently misspells USNA as anus. #BeatNavy
Navy checks the weather channel for snow days - to miss a day of war. #GoArmy
Navy uses children's shampoo because their eyes sting. #BeatNavy
Navy qualifies with BB guns because M16s are scary looking. #GoArmy
Navy drives without headlights in the rain. #BeatNavy
Navy is only called the “United States Naval Academy” because “The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids who Can’t Read Good… And want to do other stuff that’s good too” was already taken. #GoArmy
Navy says the food wasn't good after eating the whole thing ... and asks for a refund. #BeatNavy
Navy shoots free throws "granny style." #GoArmy
Navy packs a Squatty Potty as their "personal item" for an airplane carry-on. #BeatNavy
Navy officers eat before their men. #GoArmy
Navy takes gym selfies curling 10 pound weights. #BeatNavy
Navy is proud to be skipper of a douche canoe. #GoArmy
Navy parents tell people their children are in prison because USNA is too embarassing. #BeatNavy
Navy wears a helmet on an exercise bike. #GoArmy
Navy steals lunches from the work 'fridge. #BeatNavy
Navy is who everyone complains about during Festivus. #GoArmy
Navy thinks Taco Bell is the best Mexican food. #BeatNavy
Navy sued NBC for trademark infringement for "The Biggest Loser." #GoArmy
Navy puts toilet paper rolls on backwards. #BeatNavy
Navy gets handicapped tags automatically for showing their diploma. #GoArmy
Navy got a hernia attempting to lift a toy version of Mjölnir. #BeatNavy
Navy still eats glue. #GoArmy
Navy is jealous of the Marines' crayons. #BeatNavy
Navy asks if spelling counts. #GoArmy
Navy farts in the elevator. #BeatNavy
Navy schedules meetings at 4pm on a Friday. #GoArmy
Navy takes the elevator up one floor. #BeatNavy
Navy does goat stuff. #GoArmy
Navy doesn't vaccinate. #BeatNavy
Navy believes in a Flat Earth because the water is flat. #GoArmy
Navy live streams their hate and discrimination on social media. #BeatNavy
Navy thinks the "7 Cs" are their grades. #BeatNavy
Navy steals porch packages. #GoArmy
Navy still eats Tide pods. #BeatNavy
Navy found a wrong way to eat Reese's Cups. #GoArmy
Navy fills their whiskey glasses to the top with ice. #BeatNavy
Navy eats tacos on Wednesday. #GoArmy
Navy 'fight or flight' response is just to pee in their pants. #BeatNavy
Navy requests a Purple Heart for paper cuts. #GoArmy
Navy is a close talker ... in the gym shower. #BeatNavy
Navy comes to your house to tell you they're quarantined. #GoArmy
Navy doesn't wash their hands during a pandemic. #BeatNavy
Navy votes the day after an election for shorter lines. #GoArmy
Navy votes absentee and in-person, for both candidates, just in case. #BeatNavy
Navy kids let their parents win to boost self-esteem. #GoArmy
Navy brings their Mom to bachelor parties, as the entertainment. #BeatNavy
Navy double parks. #GoArmy
Navy polishes their shoes for VTCs. #BeatNavy
Navy doesn't mute their VTC mic when they go to the bathroom. #GoArmy
Navy is why Thanos wanted to destroy half the universe. #BeatNavy
Navy didn't even show up for perhaps the most decisive naval action in American history: the Battle of Yorktown -- but the French did. #GoArmy
Navy uses a speakerphone in quiet places. #BeatNavy
Navy carries their dog around in a purse. #GoArmy
Navy thinks Die Hard is a necrophilia porn movie. #BeatNavy
Navy is proud to be called Shipmate. #GoArmy
Navy takes VTCs in the bathroom with the camera on and the mic unmuted. #BeatNavy
Navy thinks a spoiler makes their compact car perform better. #GoArmy
Navy thinks louder mufflers equate to more horsepower. #BeatNavy
Navy doesn't understand what's annoying about Karen. #GoArmy
Navy prefers less cowbell. #BeatNavy
Navy puts ketchup on their steak. #GoArmy
Navy wears their uniform to the office ugly sweater contest. #BeatNavy
Navy's favorite window flavor is Windex. #GoArmy
Navy plays "All I Want For Christmas Is You" all year long. #BeatNavy
Navy puts troops ashore and then waits for combat to end. #GoArmy
Navy is afraid of Shark Week. #BeatNavy
Navy prefers to call their ships "moist" instead of "damp." #GoArmy
Navy likes the George Lucas produced Star Wars films. #BeatNavy
Navy asks if you have to know dates on a history exam. #GoArmy
Navy took 9 years to graduate - founded in 1845 with its first graduates in 1854. #BeatNavy
Navy still wasn't good enough to produce officers until 1912. #GoArmy
Navy thinks they're cooler than the Space Force Guardians. #BeatNavy
Navy eats before their sailors. #GoArmy
Navy can't change a tire. #BeatNavy
Navy spells potato with an "e." #GoArmy
Navy reminds the teacher to assign homework on Friday. #BeatNavy
Navy uses a Sharpie on their computer screen to sign digital documents. #GoArmy
Navy studies Critical Goat Theory. #BeatNavy
Navy cuts off traffic by driving in the shoulder. #GoArmy
Navy couldn't score with their imaginary girlfriend. #BeatNavy
Navy only got to first base with their Mom. #GoArmy
Navy orders drinks for everyone and then asks for separate checks. #BeatNavy
Navy tried to get into 10th Mountain Division by crashing a submarine into a mountain #GoArmy
Navy planned the Microsoft365 transition. #BeatNavy
Navy extended their car warranty thanks to telemarketers. #GoArmy
Navy dances the Truffle Shuffle. #BeatNavy
Navy always clicks Reply To All. #GoArmy
Navy needed the Ferber Method for all the midshipmen. #BeatNavy
Navy combatives are based on the "Tickle Method." #GoArmy
Navy borrows their girlfriend's hoodies. #BeatNavy
